>.<

I have never been someone who uses emoticons as above, but today is an exception. It's 8pm here, but it deludes you becomes it's as bright as it was at 12pm, and the sun doesn't set until 10pm at least, which is actually really annoying.

Sorry I haven't replied all of your comments - I will do so in the next post. This one, on the other hand, is simply a nonsensical piece of crap which you really don't have to read.

Let's face it, I live a superficial life - a superficial lie - and I'm constantly on the lookout for something better, something I was destined for, something that gives me more meaning than counting down the days before the next coming of Christ (which might not even happen in my lifetime). I keep needing some sort of fix to drive myself on, to crawl forwards somehow.

Those of you who know me inside out - you can probably guess what I'm talking about, though there's no need to mention it here. It drives me crazy, but what if craziness is sometimes all that you need? What if it's okay for you not to be like everyone else, because that's how you release yourself in the face of everything? What if it doesn't matter that the people you love are worried sick over you no matter how you tell them not to be, because you just know you're fine? 

It may not be a normal sort of fine, but I am fine. Sometimes, I think that it's such a big part of my personality that it would only be too hard to pry myself away, because it's been there when I was growing up - it's been with me throughout the most roller-coaster years of my life, and today, it's not so much a necessity than a habit, a habit that gives me comfort and a certain degree of okay-ness. 

Or maybe I just need some sleep.